Late Gait Assimilation and the Intercontinental Jig

Sidewalks here are one very large game of Chutes & Ladders. You’re either stuck, broken (and empty) cookie jar, tearful on the kitchen floor or you’re chomping down on Tatik’s (Grandma’s) finest underneath the breakfast nook. No one gives reprieves. No “Get out of jail free” cards in Yerevan, my friend.

An example: I was walking to a café yesterday after work with grand plans: study Armenian and complain about the noxious fumes of indoor smoking. Passing the small French restaurant that hides hazelnuts in their chocolate mousse, I was pushed back by a cloud of smoke as Pedestrian #1 turned black to blow his nicotine buzz into my face. If I knew how, I would have thanked him, but I’m still figuring out if, in fact, sarcasm exists in Armenia. My toes started to tingle with the need for speed and I walked faster only to be blindsided by Pedestrians #2 and #3 as they turned backward and strolled into me head on. A block from the café, I was ready to make turtle soup of “slow and steady” #4 and #5. New York feet move faster. Hell, in Ohio, France, everywhere, anywhere, feet are on the go. I am a late assimilator to the Armenian gait.

This morning, however, I got the foot fire I was so desperate for the day before. I met a native Breton- full on Celtic French fellow. After learning I’d studied in Brittany, he picked up my pinky and started dancing through the Tourism Office. Pour rire, he said, just for fun. As our toes tapped around the front office, it came me: Armenians do their fair share of the quick foot shuffle. For that matter, so do the Irish and the Greek. Ah-ha, divine realization, Armenians don’t use their “moves” downtown but on the dance floor. So, in the future, I’ll lay off the pedestrians but you can be sure I’ll be walking just as fast while I do it.

Toe tappin' at the ATDA office,

Samantha